Blood: The Last Vampire

Sometimes, when just randomly checking out some anime, one comes across a gem which really impresses and changes the way one sees anime....or movies, or music, whatever. Then there's stuff which you've heard about and piqued your interest, but turns out to be utter crap. Such is the story of Blood. This anime is so crap, I'm not even going to write the full title anymore.

I've seen quite some anime in my lifetime, from the godly Akira to the plain stupid Urotsukodoji. Still, of even the crappiest series or movies, like Dragon Ball Z or the aforementioned Urotsukodoji, I can stand how some people enjoy them. I cannot however even begin to fathom what could make people like Blood. It's the worst piece of anime shit I've ever seen.

Why do I hate this movie so much then? Well, Actually, I don't hate it. It's too crappy to hate. It's a pure waste of time. NO story, NO character development, crap action scenes and crap artwork. This anime has nothing going for it except for the nice CG backgrounds, which sometimes impress, but are for the most part just yer plain old backgrounds. Actually, that seems to be the only reason this anime was made. Someone went like: "Hey, people, look at this! I figured out how to make cool CG scenery! Let's make a movie out of this!" Go and make a game or something you fucks. I'll make it clear right now that I am not quite fond of using CG in anime. Sure, it may look cool at times, but come on, this isn't a fucking PIXAR movie. It's an anime for gods sake! If your so called artists are so lazy that they won't even draw scenery, then fire them. CG backgrounds in anime just look awkward and boring to me. But maybe that's just me.

Apart from me disliking CG, this movie is still crap. It has NO story. And I'm not kidding when I say NO story. Some stuff happens. Some people get killed. The end. It may be hard to imagine a movie which has no story at all, but you'll understand what I mean after seeing this anime. Here is what happens in the movie, since there is no story I could tell you about. Don't worry about spoilers, I mean, what the hell am I supposed to spoil? That the movie ends?

It all starts out with a totally useless scene, which is clearly meant to show off the CG graphics. You see some weird girl and a man sitting in a wagon riding the subway. then you see some CG. The girl and the man again. Some more CG. Even more CG. Suddenly the girl gets up, rushing at the man, and slashes him with a sword. The subway stops, she gets out, two men walk to the girl and tell her she has to go to some US Airbase in Japan (err, I don't get what the use of this either: it could as well be a Japanese base) Oh, by the way, my mom just brought me a plate full of sliced kiwi's and other tasty stuff. Just thought I'd mention it. It's more interesting than the story anyways.
But so the girl is sent to this base to kill some vampires. She enrols in the high school there so that she doesn't attract any attention. Work with me here for a second people: a high school situated on a military compound is most likely there for the children of the people who work on the base, right? So, when some Japanese chick enters this American high school all of the sudden, it doesn't attract any attention? Especially when she's wearing a Japanese school uniform...have these people ever heard of LOGIC??? It becomes painfully obvious that she enters the school just so that the artists could make her wear one of those cute costumes. And still there is no story.

So, she enrols on this school, kills some vampires, runs around, kills some more vampires....and that's it. The end. That's the ENTIRE movie. Like I said, no story.

This wouldn't be such a problem with good characters. Good characters can make or break any movie, anime, comic or book. The characters in this anime have as much personality as there is a storyline.
Let's start with the protagonist, Saya. A liver lipped girl who doesn't say shit and is supposed to be totally bad ass. Supposed to, because she just looks arrogant the entire movie. She looks SO arrogant it gets on your nerves. Nice, a movie where the main character irritates you. Reminds me of DBZ.
The good news is, you don't see her all that much. Instead you see some stupid nurse running around screaming and generally being even more irritating than Saya. I do have to applaud the writers for making her so irritating with so few spoken lines. Without saying anything, this character comes across insecure, weak, retarded and whiny. By the way, I just finished my plate. It was good. Better than this movie could ever be.
Then you have....well, no one actually. This is all the characters who are even remotely worth mentioning. Sad, isn't it?

The artwork is also crap. It's not necessarily bad, it's just....well okay, it's bad. The artist who drew this has some skills, but he/she just can't draw a nice, compelling character. As I said, Saya has lips that would make Mick Jagger envious and looks very arrogant...especially for someone with such huge lips.
The nurse is fat and irritating. I don't mean to insult any fat people, but if you see this whiny, weak tub of lard, then you will be insulted.
Secondary characters are all very secondary. That means they suck.

So, there is no story...what about the action then? Nothing wrong with some brainless action. I'm sorry to say it sucks. Saya just slashes the vampires once and they die. No cool battles or anything. Slash, dead, repeat. Yaay.

Luckily I haven't wasted any money on this piece of crap: I downloaded the DivX. But even that was a total waste of time. If you want to see how bad this anime is, alright, go ahead, but don't say I didn't warn you. Because I did. Right above here. See?

Rating:
* (That's one star. One out of five. For the CG sequences. And for keeping this movie short, Thanks for that)

OMEGA